My flair, in this case, is the torso protrusion known as Baby G____________. (that's all you're getting)
I realize the irony of this since I write a blog which, at the moment, focuses pretty much solely on this exact thing. I guess it's alright in this instance because it's on my terms? Not sure. But I've found myself uncomfortable talking about it when strangers ask. I don't get out that much so it's not often at all - maybe that's part of it? I don't have practice talking about it?
In a very very rare moment sans Jack yesterday afternoon, Jay and I took a quick trip out to lunch. He chose Chili's. His criteria was that the parking lot wasn't crowded and there was plenty on the menu to chose from.
So we walk in, and see the greeter - an older woman whom Jay described as...well, as looking like a Buckingham Palace guard in her red shirt, and straight jet black hair that was very poofy on the top.
Right away there was zero eye contact. This woman's eyes focused ONLY on my belly from the get-go. What a self-esteem boost... I'm up here, lady. Add to this the fact that I happened to be wearing a shirt with a horizontal stripe pattern, which is a brave move in pregnancy to begin with. Not full-on Juno Stripes or anything, tiny little pale yellow and white ones, but still.
Palace Guard: Would you like to sit at a table or a booth? Which would be easier for you?
Me: Doesn't matter!
And then it registers that she's suggesting the belly may not fit in between a table and the bench on a booth...
She brings us to a booth anyway. I guess she wanted to experiment.
Palace Guard: Oh yeah, good, plenty of room!
Me and Jay: *silence*
She placed the menus on the table and did the waiter trick where they try to seem like your best buddy by crouching down real close to the table and getting all up in your face to tell you their name and that these are menus. Thanks for that.
Palace Guard: Soooo, when are you duuuuuuue?
Palace Guard: Ohh niiiice! First?
Me: *perplexed* No...middle of October?
Jay: Mumbling something like "no no" (because he actually understood what she meant here while I didn't**)
Palace Guard: I mean is this your first!
Me: Oh. No we have a three year old.
Then she went back to greeter mode. I guess at that point I didn't need any scholarly mothering advice since I have a kid already? Phew.
Now I realize
I'm the "laugh it off" type. How would you handle a situation such as this?
**I've found that many people like to relate when a pregnant woman is due to their own birthdate or the birthdate of someone they know. It's cool when the person says it's their own birthday, or very near their birthday, or their child's birthday, or they know someone due that day, too. But I've very recently been told "Ooooh that's my dog's birthday!!!" and I didn't know how to react to that one...